today I was finally able to speak to you and let you know that I will be coming home soon. although I couldn’t see your expression, I could certainly imagine it. I am looking forward to returning home. oh my god, you have no idea how much. it’s been too long. it’s been too long again. we seem to see each other every two years. I remember last time as we were sitting in that garden, drinking, we promised each other not to let two years pass again. I was so sure it wouldn’t happen. but life had different plans and for a while I even forgot about you entirely (well, not entirely). I’m sorry about that period of time. we should have spoken more often. there was a lot I wanted to tell you back then but by the time I mustered up the courage the words had become insignificant and eventually I forgot them, too.
listening to the song that bears my name, the one you discovered for me. it always takes me back to the top of the hill above our old house five years ago. lying down on the dry grass, letting the soak in my skin, feeling your elbow against mine, listening to the song for the first time. and then those two days we spent together. I could never forget.
I am looking forward to seeing you face again. it’s been so long. I wonder whether you have changed. but one thing I know for sure. that we are still the same. it brings me enormous comfort in these strange times. maybe I will be able to tell you about some of it. I am sure you’ve become a more mature listener. even though I am not sure what I mean by this. you’ve always be there for me, especially when I didn’t realize it. but that’s how it was. I will be seeing you sooner than I would have believed.
I need to write these letters more often. I promise.
signed oscar wilde.
July 22, 2011