as always

i’m listening to amos lee’s skipping stone. i like to think that someone else wrote that song as a reflection to having met me. what’s the opposite of being paranoid? is it actually possible to feel the way i feel or is it just a passing by moment? the one that will be gone really soon? i’m not sure. all i know is that there are too many people in my spotlight. way too many.

oh, my cherie amour, pretty little one that i adore
you’re the only girl my heart beats for
how i wish that you were mine

does it make sense? of course it doesn’t. but sometimes i just cannot help it. i let the feeling live inside of me as if it were the only thing that can keep me alive. but the truth is somewhere else. it’s got nothing to do with anything. the only things, which are somehow connected to this feeling are bailey’s cheesecake and a song by stevie wonder. and nothing else.

for you, always.

(train)spotting

heroin.

the color of eyes
when you look at me
i’m weak
i’m small
i can still feel
you
inside
of my veins

every look
every touch
feels like a stab
of a knife
you lick my
wounds
you tear them
apart
with your fake nails
i’m bleeding
gold

but they don’t wear
human jewerly

*

old shit recently found and edited.
as i said, he triggers my imagination like firework.

we’re not supposed to be lovers

last night. soho. kasbah restaurant. the interior of that place made me feel as i were back in dubai. couscous, hummus and pita bread. a glass of red wine. stories from around the world, stories from a living room, stories from a little village. goats, sheep and cows. comparison of bratislava to dubai in terms of hours needed to get there. incorrect, but still fitting. i was thinking of dubai today more than i have in the last two months and i realized that i could actually live there during the cooler months, why not. and so on.

i saw my favorite greek boy while walking down the stairs. he said hi sara with a strange, focused glow in his eyes. he never says hi. i never see him. he never acknowledges me. i never look at him. changes.

it’s nine o’clock. it’s dark out. as it always is. time is the only constant thing in this world. here it flies by faster than anywhere else. maybe it’s because we’re closer to the sun each morning than the rest of the world. metaphors. one-liners. i’m still reading bright shiny morning. i am taking my time with this book. i want to absorb every single word, remember every expression, every face and its character. i wish to walk down the venice beach and experience the beauty and the pain myself. relative words, relative meanings. my mind went blank. nothing.

the glow of his eyes follows me everywhere.