a very grey early sunday morning

I.
hey there deliah what’s it like in new york city. manhattan. walks. wide streets. numbers. east west. parks. yellow cabs. a car ride. harlem. upper west side. upper east side. you’ve got mail. central park. broadway. coffee shops. breakfast. plain white t’s. statue of liberty. times square. pretzels. hot dogs. subway. the strokes.

II.
early saturday morning. people jogging. fifth avenue. madison avenue. hot pancakes with maple syrup. coffee. a smell of sweet potatoes. empire state building. shopping malls. sunglasses. blackberry. greenwich village. italian restaurant. high end fashion. people. french. italian. german. spanish. minestrone soup. limoncello. paparazzi. jay-z sitting next to us. hi, there. small talk. chinatown. little italy. desserts. rain. wall street. waking up at two am. dream lover.

III.
DC. walks. museums. history. green. lots of space. parks. squirrels. deers. government buildings. 200 years old post offices. the white house. the capitol. the senate buildings. a whole new world underground. businessmen. union station. the metro. state avenues. seconds to cross the street. lights. home. bathroom. kitchen. pantry. endless glasses of milk. organic food. georgetown. old town. jason mraz. statues. monuments. memorials. small garden. fountains. split creek. up the hill. pentagon. ground zero. the middle east. eight years. obama on cnn.

IV.
the twins. big girl sara. sleepy mornings. cold. fall. leaves. red. orange. maroon 5. in and out of the car. grandparents. my childhood. second family. espressos and little cups. chocolate chip ice cream. sushi. dinners. midnight. crying. not sleeping. mama sanja. cereals. cranberries. fruties. train. new york. airport too soon. 16 hours flight. a bigger chinatown.

waiting for a sunrise. the sky is grey. too much awaiting me. I wish I was still there.

loneliness seems like an ancient past

it’s five in the morning, I woke up an hour ago after sleeping for more than 12 hours in one piece. the night before was spent in our favorite bar listening to Michael sing you’re so beautiful to me and many others. during the breaks I’d move downstairs and check out my sherona. in a way a night like that was needed. just to remind ourselves of where we are and what’s in front of us. in the end mom and I each had a shot of tequila to symbolically celebrate her birthday, which is today. she is fortyfuckingfive and she has nothing to be ashamed of.

it’s good to be back in hong kong. it’s good to be home. two weeks in America flashed before me too soon, too quickly. somehow when there are no expectations, things turn out to be much better than they could have been have I had expectations of any kind. I’m moving forward with my dreams and ideals. they don’t seem to be as far away as they were a few months ago. both unexpected and expected happened. dreams of their life are not dreams anymore, they are slowly becoming my reality. time heals, time reveals, time solves — everything. the past two weeks seem indefinitely distant, as if it all occurred a hundred years ago, yet the memories lie close to my heart. It’s the small things that are important as much as they may seem insignificant to people standing outside, looking in. but I’m finding it hard to keep up with the time. september was much busier than I originally thought. october opened up in washington DC where I was for the holidays. new perspective.

being with people who are so far away but so close at heart was probably the best possible way how to spend the last days of the fall. even in hong kong, the winter is approaching making the days less unbearable. I am back to spending time in my favorite Starbucks, writing alone at the table, drinking triple espressos. wind blows, people move, buses shriek with their brakes and I stand in the middle of it.

the world is mine.