volume four: crazy heart

*

a relaxing day. I spent the afternoon in a bookstore, browsing through lonely planets. and after many months, mother and I we went for a coffee. my legs feel tired from all the walking, my mind too clouded to read. I cannot concentrate on the words before me, their meaning escapes me. I have only thought of one thing the entire day: it has been a year since we met. and today was painfully similar to that day. the weather, the wind, the atmosphere on the island. everything reminded me. I skipped dinner; had just a snack. and instead of going out, I went home, wrote a few letters and watched hours of mindless television shows. sometimes I wish I couldn’t remember everything so well. crazy heart.

I will forget you by tomorrow but right now, oh man.

volume three: bokeh

*

another day. haze from last night surrounding me wherever I move. everything appears to be in slow motion. I walked around tsim sha tsui yesterday afternoon for almost four hours. I did about seven or eight circles around the area, each time noticing something else. my legs ached but I kept going only stopping for a large cup of cappuccino. I wanted to write but left my journal at home. that feeling of uneasiness when I know that the words are slipping away from me and I will never find them again. not those particular ones. it is never the same once you forget what you had on your mind. I’m counting off the days, minutes. I felt this way when we were apart for the first time in autumn. I wish I didn’t.

I force myself to keep going, to keep living, to keep doing my own thing as always. pretending that everything is still the same. a friend of ours from czech republic came for a visit. his father. the night finished at three in the morning after three bottles of white wine and endless stories from the past. I was proud of him but at the same time it felt as if too much time has passed already. and it has. somehow we always find a way back to each other, though. I am not hopeful, it’s just nice knowing that there’s still someone out there.

I’m behind on my writing but I don’t think today is the day when I am going to get it done.

volume two

*

from yesterday’s walk around SoHo. it was a beautiful day. just the right amount of light in the afternoon to keep me walking around without a migraine. around dinner time the neighborhood seemed to slow down a little bit as people sat down in restaurants up and down the hills, enjoying their spaghetti frutti di mare and glasses of white wine. I loved the contrast that came with the heavy smell from the fish market two streets down. one could faint just by staying near by.

strangers greeted me, a french chief waved at me, smiled. I saw a few familiar faces by apart from acknowledging nods and smiles nothing was said. I appreciated the silence of the afternoon more than usually; after an hour of walking around without a direction, my mind slowly drifted away into a peaceful state. it has now become a daily constant to walk around hong kong and take photographs with the intent of adding a few words to them at a later time. I am not a fan of definitions but this could become a photoblog if I manage to keep going. I like the idea. change of content was needed for a long time. so, finally.

nothing particular on my mind at the moment. my head feels too heavy on my shoulders.

breathless

*

apart from my wall these are some of the things which have inspired me this morning.

+ the new impossible project PX680 film is aesthetically incredible.

+ ferry to hong kong; a must-watch.

+ new york city. I cannot wait until we meet again.

+ sove. what I am lacking the most right now.

+ sunset/sunrise. I love the timing of this.

+ london; I think this is how I feel about prague sometimes.

+ paris; I think I have been deprived of europe for too long.

+ each issue of this joy + ride inspires me in some way but number fifty four particularly.

+ the citizn project, I believe, should become global.

volume one

I bought the amazing nikon D3100 yesterday; shooting with it today was sheer pleasure. I cannot remember the last time I spent an entire day walking around hong kong and taking pictures with such commitment and focus. images and ideas simply kept popping up without stopping.

I walked from central to causeway bay; I passed through markets, streets I had never been to before, endless lines of small shops and the unique mixture of hong kong smells. ducks hanging from the windows, stale air in abandoned old buildings waiting for destruction, scent of sweet flowers and paper burning in steel containers to send off the dragon ghost. and then the smell of money. it is all there, constantly. too soon humidity will glue all the particles into an unbearable mass. I am not looking forward to it. right now there can still be sensed a breeze of fresh, cold air. still my favorite part is the ferry ride from kowloon to wan chai. I don’t think I could ever get tired of traveling from one side to another; imperfect reflections on the water, the waves and the screeching sound of the ferry pulling against the pier.

I walked around the entire day surrounded by the haze from the previous night. my hangovers are untypical. no headache, no physical discomfort except for the sickness in my stomach not allowing me to eat anything. words and pictures emerging from the depths of my mind as I thought of the night before – grateful and calm because I have found that one friend I am able to share all this with.

she’s always a woman to me.