volume four: crazy heart

March 31, 2011


a relaxing day. I spent the afternoon in a bookstore, browsing through lonely planets. and after many months, mother and I we went for a coffee. my legs feel tired from all the walking, my mind too clouded to read. I cannot concentrate on the words before me, their meaning escapes me. I have only thought of one thing the entire day: it has been a year since we met. and today was painfully similar to that day. the weather, the wind, the atmosphere on the island. everything reminded me. I skipped dinner; had just a snack. and instead of going out, I went home, wrote a few letters and watched hours of mindless television shows. sometimes I wish I couldn’t remember everything so well. crazy heart.

I will forget you by tomorrow but right now, oh man.

volume three: bokeh


another day. haze from last night surrounding me wherever I move. everything appears to be in slow motion. I walked around tsim sha tsui yesterday afternoon for almost four hours. I did about seven or eight circles around the area, each time noticing something else. my legs ached but I kept going only stopping for a large cup of cappuccino. I wanted to write but left my journal at home. that feeling of uneasiness when I know that the words are slipping away from me and I will never find them again. not those particular ones. it is never the same once you forget what you had on your mind. I’m counting off the days, minutes. I felt this way when we were apart for the first time in autumn. I wish I didn’t.

I force myself to keep going, to keep living, to keep doing my own thing as always. pretending that everything is still the same. a friend of ours from czech republic came for a visit. his father. the night finished at three in the morning after three bottles of white wine and endless stories from the past. I was proud of him but at the same time it felt as if too much time has passed already. and it has. somehow we always find a way back to each other, though. I am not hopeful, it’s just nice knowing that there’s still someone out there.

I’m behind on my writing but I don’t think today is the day when I am going to get it done.

volume two

March 30, 2011


from yesterday’s walk around SoHo. it was a beautiful day. just the right amount of light in the afternoon to keep me walking around without a migraine. around dinner time the neighborhood seemed to slow down a little bit as people sat down in restaurants up and down the hills, enjoying their spaghetti frutti di mare and glasses of white wine. I loved the contrast that came with the heavy smell from the fish market two streets down. one could faint just by staying near by.

strangers greeted me, a french chief waved at me, smiled. I saw a few familiar faces by apart from acknowledging nods and smiles nothing was said. I appreciated the silence of the afternoon more than usually; after an hour of walking around without a direction, my mind slowly drifted away into a peaceful state. it has now become a daily constant to walk around hong kong and take photographs with the intent of adding a few words to them at a later time. I am not a fan of definitions but this could become a photoblog if I manage to keep going. I like the idea. change of content was needed for a long time. so, finally.

nothing particular on my mind at the moment. my head feels too heavy on my shoulders.