5 things | hamburg, germany

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I took a walk at Strandperle beach. Had a coffee and lunch there. Then walked farther down the beach and took the ferry into the city center of Hamburg (from Anleger Neumühlen/Ovelgönne to Landungsbrücken). The best first day of a trip I’ve had in a while.

Nord Coast Coffee Roastery
Nord Coast Coffee Roastery

Strolled around the Portuguese quarter; continued walking in the direction of Rathaus. Hamburg is full of excellent coffee places. Two that took me by the heart with full force: Le Velo (a bike shop and a coffee shop!) and Nord Coast Coffee Roastery.

My favorite building in Hamburg.
My favorite building in Hamburg.

Got lost in the streets of Altona. Got lost in the streets in general. I found my favorite building in the process. I loved wandering the streets at the very heart of Hamburg. All streets are lined with bookstores, restaurants and coffee shops. It’s all I need, really.

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Admired the red brick buildings. Entire streets are lined with uniform nordic architecture, and I think it’s perfect. Walked through the canals, with a warm flat white. It gets windy in Hamburg, but I did not mind. The weather might never be ideal that far up in the north, but the beauty of the city makes up for it.

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I found gems in hidden streets of Hamburg. Little shops, little restaurants. Normally I would pick a night to splurge on for an evening with friends. Yet as I was alone, my company was the best white wine on offer to go with my traditional Hamburg meal of fish and seafood (I ate at this restaurant, which was okay. Next time, I am going to this French place). I was told that if there’s one thing I was going to eat in Hamburg, I had to make it the fish. And they were right.

(Side note: I wished I had enough time to see a musical in Hamburg. Apparently, it is the city of musical theater. So I am keeping that for my next trip in February. Lion King in German? Actually, why not, it’s the version I watched most often as a kid anyway.)

life, lately | 2016.01.03

Christmas morning at home.
Christmas morning at home.
Biking through our little town with maman. Coffee. Perfect, perfect weather.
Biking through our little town with maman. Coffee. Perfect, perfect weather.
The last sunset of twenty-fifteen.
The last sunset of twenty-fifteen.
Gloomy Saturday called for sunny side-ups for brunch.
Gloomy Saturday called for sunny side-ups for brunch.
Welcoming twenty-sixteen.
Welcoming twenty-sixteen.
January 1 | Split, Croatia.
January 1 | Split, Croatia.

this feeling in my stomach

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I welcomed the new year quietly. With Netflix, wine, and chocolate. Not a bad beginning, honestly.

The first day of the year was about feeling good. Trying to feel good. To let go of the sadness inside my stomach. I feel like my insides are going to spill out at any moment, and I am squeezing them in.

Split, Croatia. The beating heart of what home is.

We had early lunch. With an impeccable bottle of red wine, which made me drunk after mere two glasses. We took the other half of the bottle home, saved for later. I chose to have a steak, which is something I haven’t done in a while. I really felt like it. Then I also had semifreddo for dessert.

I fell asleep in the car on the way home. Knocked out completely. It was a good sleep. The kind that powers you up more than a whole night of sleep would. It was what I needed. I need to focus on the things I need. Not the things I want.

I realized the reason I am tired all the time is because my feelings are wearing me out. The guilt, the grief, the mess of my scrambled insides. The heavy feeling at the pit of my stomach.

On our first anniversary, I woke up to a text message from him. All it said was “have a nice day”. Above his message, there were six or seven of mine, in blue background, desperate, and left unanswered.

As of today, seven months have passed since I left.

As of today, I will attract the right things in life through gaining a sense of who I am.