31 :: 366

it had been a long day. I began my new job as an intern at time out hong kong. it is going to keep me busy for the next few weeks and I am hoping to expand; take my writing some place else. the newsletter editorial that is being prepared for this week is underway and there is another half a dozen things on the list I have to focus on. but it is okay with me. the atmosphere of the office is just as you would expect for a magazine. messy desks, endless stacks of previous issues, boxes of the latest one, film posters and photographs of celebrities. hong kong art festival. boxes, boxes, boxes. envelopes and other paper paraphernalia. and then there’s the people. some of them I’ve met throughout the years of hanging out on the streets of hong kong. the anxious ones go out for a cigarette every half an hour and the rest just stocks up on the caffeine supply. there’s always a deadline ahead and I like the pressure of it.

then the globe. it has been a while since my father and I just sat together for a drink. talking about everything and nothing. I already mentioned the importance of this, coincidentally about the same time last year. hazelnut boy joined us half way through and then he left. it was like a déjà vu. again. the same corner, the same facial expressions. the same bullshit. me quitting, giving up. but I knew from his eyes that he doesn’t believe me. I don’t believe me. and then two hours on the phone, sitting down on the sidewalk, trying to sort things out. the thin line between love and not wanting to be alone. it is interesting though that his empty words still have an effect on me.

January 31, 2012