I’m training to be an anaesthetist
the checkout girl said
I want to work with people
but not have to talk to them

Matthew Haigh


december began with lots of work. it began with two films; the parent trap and whatever works. the first one is an old time favorite, the only film that has ever made me cry (seriously). I was ten years younger than what I am right now and watching it yesterday just reminded me of all those feelings I had back then. or maybe I am just exaggerating. who knows. and the second made me laugh think sympathize. but most importantly I was able to find myself in the misanthropic character that boris is. (and doctor house of course!) I am kind of split between being afraid of becoming one in the future and the fact that I may already be one of the kind. but I like to think, even though I hate most of the people most of the time, I still find them interesting enough to keep me around. I mean, they had to invent automatic flushing systems in public bathrooms. that says something. the year is about to wrap itself up and say goodbye and I feel like there’s still too much left to be done in the next few weeks and I am not going to make it. or maybe I am just not ready yet. on top of it all, the upcoming christmas season depresses me. would it please go away.

and unplugged in new york has been on the entire evening. let’s pretend it doesn’t mean anything.