302

November 18, 2009 | (Unfinished) Thoughts

11182009

for some reason, I feel like I am already standing at a crossroads. one of those big ones just like in tokyo. maybe it’s because I think too much about next year and the year after. some people say they are scared of what future holds for them. some people don’t know what to make of the future. but I am not like that. why does it have to be any different than anything else we have already come across? why is life after high school supposed to be so different? I hate how everyone is expected to act scared and full of questions and uncertainties. but why? how is it different to anything else? just because we are going to leave somewhere on our own, possibly without a family, doesn’t mean things are going to drastically change. yeah, new everything. but sooner or later we will all be back to our life routines just like before. maybe there’ll be some new ones, but things will turn out to be pretty normal soon enough. if not from the very beginning. I don’t know. maybe I am wrong. and maybe this time next year I will be in shock because of how much is going to change. or not really.

I feel like I am just fighting another stereotype, another expectation out there. just something other people have set up for us. changing high schools — no one makes a big deal out of that (unless you turn out to be the problematic kind). no one questions changes that come along with that. it’s all pretty normal, so why should something like university, or college be any different? we are going to be older than we are now, things shouldn’t surprise us that easily. now I can’t even remember why it is that I was standing at a crossroads at the beginning of this post. maybe a crossroads of a different kind. the one where I am deciding whether to follow everyone else in their panic or just continue with my low life where nothing excites me. or maybe I am just scared just like everyone else and don’t want to admit it. (hypocrite!)

I’ll come back to this in november next year and then we’ll see what I’ll have to say then.