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we sat together in darkness; the rain wet our hair making mine increasingly curlier. you found this amusing. in general, your obsession with my hair entertains me. eventually m showed up as well and I tried to explain the russian language to you. the difference between capa and sara. as expected you started calling me, capa. after a few minutes of laughing, you said: but you will always be baby prada to me. I don’t know why but I only then I realized we were sitting in the exact same spot where we first kissed many months ago. then you surprised me again because you seem to remember everything. in fact, you seem to remember things I have no recollection of whatsoever. which kind of makes me an asshole.

we awaited the sunrise, the hunger inside our stomachs and minds made us restless and we argued again. I stayed in bed alone, hoping to fall asleep before you came back. but you never let me sleep. you woke me up with a nudge to my cheek, the mess that is my hair spread out all over the pillows. look at me. I kept my eyes closed but I could feel how close your face was to mine. I am sorry. I hate it when you apologize instead of me. but there is no space for my apologies anymore. they have become insignificant and I am aware of the struggle that goes on within you. I wonder why we always come back to each other.

because I truly don’t understand.

February 8, 2012