this is our first record. most people don’t know about it. and then that cheering. everyone knew, even then. especially then. an hour later. I’m sitting here; lost in thought. unplugged is turned on repeat and now it’s playing for the second time. or maybe third. I can’t be sure. the anniversary is drawing closer. I will be alone just like before. it was dangerous sharing something like this with someone. it is hard to explain. a year later. cambodia. and then everything that came after. somehow it is not enough in the past. everything touches on to reality. but I think I’m okay with that. despite the dreams I have each night. hopefully, those will disappear soon.