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winter excuses: long hugs, extra hot mugs of honey orange macchiato, scarves, steaming warm showers, drinking rum and tea, leg warmers.
I am looking at pictures of snow and I am trying to remember the last time we built a snowman. was it that last new year’s we spent together, seven or eight years ago? I am losing track of time.
we sat on the stairs in staunton street, chain smoking and cross-legged; I listened to your life story of the past few months and felt deep sadness settling in. we moved along. discussing the pi theory with ramesh, walking down the street all the way to where the heat was. high school friends, some people I didn’t want to see or talk to, strangers; everyone was out there. except for him. hazelnut boy came five hours late and I don’t know why I always wait for him. I walked away last night without looking back. for the first time he didn’t stop me. I feel a little lighter, but emptier.

January 5, 2012