so I don’t know what I’m doing actually. eliminating people, deleting numbers. for every three that I delete, I get one new. the process is slow and it’s going to take me some time before I will trust someone again. or ever. but the thing is the way things are right now, unforced meeting of new faces and taking it a little bit too far in a single night, is in a way more fulfilling than anything else. no bullshit allowed. that’s the only rule. and don’t move me, because I’m always comfortable. he laughed when I said that, you’re crazy. well, yes. that’s the whole point. I’m seriously not high maintenance. I just state my opinion too loud.
but all in all, last night was a good night. I run into my parents at the ferry, decided to change my plans a little and go for a dinner with them, instead of not eating anything at all and just living off late night cappuccinos. we walked past the new bars on the darker side of hollywood road but decided to go back to our regular irish place. it has been a long time anyway, because in the last few months it takes a lot of energy to hike to central for a couple of beers. at least, for them. I spend half my life around the streets of central.
in the morning I was feeling very apathetic and miserable, missing home and wishing for a white christmas. it’s all because of emails that we have exchanged in the last two weeks and because of this letter. it probably means nothing to you, but it’s all there and each christmas, well each christmas is the same. it’s when I miss you the most. i think it’s time for love actually now. I just hope I will get to go home soon. it’s december already and I haven’t been home for year and a half.
December 2, 2010