april in a list


well, sort of.

april is the month of birthdays. father’s, grandfathers’ and mine. at least twenty people that are close to me celebrated their birthday this month. april is the favorite.

I have slowly began dipping my toes in the waters of freelancing. sponsorships, requests and commissions are flowing in and I am learning how to manage it all. with the regular job, it’s proving to be difficult. I wasn’t expecting that. not enough time in the day. I keep reminding myself that beyonce also has only 24 hours. insert smirk, giggle, whatever.

I need to reevaluate my own priorities. want vs need.

I am two/thirds finished with mandela’s long walk to freedom. I wish I had more time to focus and read in peace. such an inspiring book. I’d collected many sentences, wisdoms and inspirations to remember and be guided by.

instead of focusing on one thing this month, I am becoming a jack of all trades even more. I am not sure, which direction that will help me to evolve in. I am still trying to figure that out.

I am still waiting for things turn out for the best.

and then the boathouse. as if walking past there somehow transferred my feelings across continents. I refrained from looking at the pictures from that day. there is no point, nothing changes. it’s always the same. I am always surprised at how naive I was. I predicted nothing. I honestly thought that everything was going to remain the way it was. now my inboxes are darkened with bold unread emails and messages. the misinterpretation, the misunderstanding, or whatever it is. I don’t understand how we got here.

what’s worse, I have no clue where we are headed from here.

April 30, 2014