august blues

August 23, 2012 | (Unfinished) Thoughts

january blues.

spring pulled us apart for a while. it was mainly my doing but you didn’t seem to mind, either. it is sad – that I had to lose you first in order to realize that tu me manques. I spent three months in the hills, loving blue mornings with a completely wrong person. at the time, I thought I was content and happy.
I will never have the courage to tell you. there’s nothing to tell, really.
our story is being written and it is far from over.
I don’t know what next chapters will be about but I’m glad that the last one has come to an end.
I need to be more careful. but I also need to trust more.
I am not sure how I am ever going to achieve that but knowing that you are here with me kind of makes me ease up.
I am not expecting any more than I deserve. which is the most honest measure there is.
a year ago, when I first met you, I had no idea. any more than I do now.
but the balance, which we have managed to create in the last few weeks, I needed it and I guess that’s all that matters.
I hope autumn will be good to us. just imagine it: scarves, hot mugs of pumpkin-orange flavored coffee and walks along the harbor front as the red, winter sun disappears.
I make fun of you for being a romantic, but in reality, it’s me.
don’t disappear, please.