back to where we started

January 12, 2011 | (Unfinished) Thoughts

know what’s weird? day by day, nothing seems to change. but pretty soon, everything’s different. – bill waterson.

and again days pass by too fast. I was doing well during the first few. I was on the track with my writing, with films, and all those endless reading lists. but in my mind it seems as if skipping one day will set me entire weeks back. which would mean that I am still stuck in 2010. perhaps, I am.

another friend of mine has left hong kong this morning. the last couple of weeks have been about good bye lunches, dinners and last minute get togethers, before people leave hong kong for good. but the way it works with us, we just keep coming back all the time. because hong kong made us. hong kong made us into the people that we are now. so it’s a little bit like stockholm syndrome and going back home; we have grown to love the city we used to hate. the entire time I’d been convinced I am the only one. you never are. there’s always others.

so I’m starting to miss everyone, more than half of my contacts in my phone are useless now and there’s no one to have a cup of coffee or lunch with. my korean friend; my best friend is also leaving a few weeks. and then I don’t know. it’ll be quiet without her. it’ll be quiet without timon and pumba. this year everything is bound to change, everything is uncertain.

but I know one thing for sure: everything would be easier if I could still pick up the phone and talk to you for a few hours, or just fall asleep in your living room. but I can’t. so I need to leave. anywhere. to be anywhere but hong kong. the only thing more impossible than leaving was staying.