could you love me? he asked. i looked at him in amazement. yes, i said because i was drunk. sort of. later in the morning, when i woke up to go to school, i opened up my inbox. you’ve got mail. all it read was good morning! i tried to recall last night but all i could think of was a letter that i wrote in the middle of the night. i almost felt sorry because it wasn’t meant for him. oliver. maybe in another lifetime.
today was a really long day. but thanks to the email i recieved in the morning it passed by quickly. i had classes until five pm. but i couldn’t stop smiling. i smiled all day long, people around me did not understand. and i do not want them to. why should they? they cannot.
last night at least ten of my professors were at the same bar as me, shooting pool. it felt strange but then i realized i couldn’t care less. it’s my life. another story. before they left they waved at me from the distance. when i looked at them from the back, i realized they weren’t capable of walking in a straight line. i had to laugh. my professors.
the band played my cherie amour for me again. they must be fucking tired of that song. but i know i’m not. it’s always the same story, the same looks, the same dancing and smiles. i found myself a paradise but every time it just kicks me as if to remind me that there’s a certain reality to which i have to go back. but it’s worth it each time.
i can see it on your face that you have a problem.
cultural sanitary napkin: amateour photographs of daily life in hong kong by janice tsui.
good morning, hong kong.
i managed to fall asleep at two o’clock in the morning last night. and i woke up just now, almost six hours later. i can feel the lack of sleep affecting my whole body. coffee is not enough.
i am reminded of the time when i had no school and stayed at home for months watching tv shows not living in the real world. i felt the same as i feel now. the only difference is that i’m much happier.
how does one describe happiness? you just smile. the last entry probably doesn’t say much but it explains a lot.
tomorrow, my friends are coming to town.
We always meet people all around us
often we can try to speak with them
sometimes we get on well with them
occasionally we know their names
rarely we hug them.
my memory of you is going to last. others just won’t. have you told him that you miss him? no. that’s why you are alone. no, it’s because i’m always expecting a dissapointment. even now. you’re a pessimist. no. yeah, maybe.
with how many people are you able to sit in a complete silence?
thunderstorm warning was in force in the morning,
but no storm came.
i woke up with many ideas,
but by mid-day they were all gone.
i woke up with sense of dreams,
but i couldn’t remember them.
i woke up with many words on the tip of my tongue,
but said none.
my sense of reality is nonexistent,
but not just in reality.
good night, hong kong.
i just thought of a weird title. i’ve got a bowl of vine grapes, water bottle, some fruit cookies on the table. a history book in my lap. six pages of notes for tonight so far. hundreds of pages to go. i have finally settled on biology for next year as my science subject. i picked up italian again. i learnt two more chinese characters the other day. i feel better. i’ve been learning more about comedy and what it takes. stand up comedy makes me feel as if i have the right point of view. maybe it’s wrong thinking, but i love it. chris rock’s bigger and blacker just cracks me up. i believe you got my property!
i had a fine day today. i’ve got shitload of work to do. according to my schedule 9 due dates in the upcoming two weeks. school certificate practice exams almost every week. i’m still waiting for my books they are late. i hope i will get them at least by the end of this week. tired and in need of coffee. i lowered my dosage in order to improve my sleep but it just makes it impossible for me to get up easily in the morning. it takes me five minutes to turn off the alarm after it’s already begun to ring. where are the directions of the world?
her blueberry nights.