home made pasta with an extensive amount of ketchup and parmesan is what I used to eat on a daily basis during my first year here. it’s what I am eating right now. every summer seems to be just like the one before: a complete disaster. except for last year because I went home and managed to skip all the humidity and dissatisfaction in general. in hong kong, summers suck royally. I have no poetic words for this one. I am not sure I can say that I am not happy, though. because I am. except. the list of things that I am not okay with at the moment is too long. it’s not getting longer, it’s not getting shorter. every day is exactly the same. routine. stereotype. call it whatever you want it. and I am tired of it. of everything.
I have been writing quite a lot in the few weeks because it’s the only way of venting right now, the only way of letting my thoughts escape out there. so I don’t have to deal with them. I stopped re-reading what I wrote before. I stopped with all of it. I am trying to focus on each day alone, one step at a time, trying to do what’s best at one particular point. I am not exactly able to see my future right now. not able to plan or figure things out. because I don’t want to. because it’s tiring and leads to disappointments. I learned the hard way. and so on.
I have nothing much say right now (obviously). except that I am looking forward to september. you know why. but until then, there’s a chance this place will be forgotten. and I don’t mind.
June 18, 2010