i miss talking to you every day

I have finished high school. I had my last exam today, and it’s over. no more of getting up at 6:30 am, putting on the uniform, getting mindlessly on the train, walking up the stairs and doing the best I can to avoid people. it’s been like that for four years and it’s over. I feel relieved, free. today the future opens up to me and my choices and possibilities are endless. in a way I am excited.

I watched the social network and I am impressed. although logging onto facebook now feels different. knowing the story behind it, knowing what an impact it has had on people’s lives – it makes it feel different. somehow, I am not sure how or why. I’m planning on watching the film again tomorrow.

I had dinner with my parents at wooloo mooloo, looking at the view, the sunset, drinking white wine after such a long time. by the time we left I felt drunk, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t drunk from the wine, it was the feeling of freedom. people walking past me, bumping in me, smells of hong kong, everything. the atmosphere in the air was busy and chaotic but I felt content. peaceful. I walked around star avenue, listening to about a son, thinking about all the words I am going to write. then I walked back home, drank another bottle of white wine with my father, on our balcony, sitting and talking. I was going to write, but for once I felt like putting the words down on paper would ruin the moment.

this morning I woke up, cleaned out my room, everything from the past two years is gone. memories have remained everywhere. on my bed, on my walls, in my closet. it’s all there. I was scared they would become unbearable, but it’s actually comforting. it allows me to move on. and that’s all I am doing.

November 19, 2010