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the earthy tones of this place inspired me to sit down for more than four hours and write with very few interruptions. besides working on an online portfolio after planning it for many long months, I am keeping myself creatively occupied with a couple of short stories and articles that I would like to have published online. maybe even in print. these thoughts and a couple of phone calls from london have placed me into a continuous state of dreaming and planning of what could be. I am trying to focus on the boundaries of reality but recently it has gotten increasingly harder. happiness is for idiots.
being inspired but not enough grounded or down to earth to actually sit down and write is worse than not being able to write at all. having to force myself to write is something that can ruin the words even when the idea is good. the first rule to writing is to write. turning off the internet also helps. so does putting my phone in a silent mode. comfortable chair, ambient music and a good cup of coffee are sweet pluses. I have often wondered what others need to feel creative. is it their life in general or just a particular moment? can you teach yourself to be creative? can you force yourself to write?
sometimes words are not enough. sometimes I need to step out of my comfort zone and do something I’ve never done in order to have something I’ve never had before. repetition of the same mistakes has gotten me nowhere except for being bitter and notoriously sarcastic in the least appropriate moments. the notion of having no expectations versus being willing to have your heart broken keeps me up at night. and so on.
May 6, 2012