I am not sleeping well. I am not sleeping at all. I had to be reminded of my own writing style in order to find my own words. to get them all back. somehow everything feels reversed as if I am going back in time my mindset slipping back into what it used to be. only because of a couple of sentences. one fucking message. for someone who doesn’t have a problem with leaving people behind I am spending too much time with you on my mind. to the left, to the left. I wish I was in new york city. in washington dc. in san francisco. in beijing. in melbourne. in auckland. in tokyo. in bangkok. in dubai. in cairo. in istanbul. in nairobi. in cape town. in paris. in barcelona. in the middle of the oceans. places just pop up in my mind and I want to transfer myself. sort of like jumper. if I could chose any super power it would be the ability to go anywhere at any time. right now I can’t even understand that I was in one place for a year and a half. a year and a half. the longest period of time in my entire life that I didn’t travel anywhere. you must not know about me, you must not know about me. it has gotten colder over night and but I still swam in the bay today. played tennis at back of the house; shot some nice photographs; watered my grandmother’s garden. I am split between wanting to leave here tomorrow and staying forever. how to be everywhere at the same time?

September 23, 2011