joyce is not here


a few things from yesterday.

I wrote a lot in english, collecting my thoughts, sharing the air with the person next to me. I wrote about the air because it’s become incredibly important for me to know who the people are and whether I can count on them. and the person sitting next to me probably belongs to those few. so I wrote a little more, until he asked me what I was doing. I kept silent, but he knew so didn’t ask again. in fact, he didn’t ask anything anymore. when the bell rang at the end of the day I wished I knew him better. and then at midnight he texted me and I wished he was more there for me. I pretended I am too independent and proud to care, but those who saw me saw a sad expression as well. what would philosopher jagger say?

I wasn’t even at home yesterday until way past midnight. it made me happy to spend a few hours in the afternoon at a local chinese school teaching and helping the little kids with their homework. they mostly spoke cantonese but I still managed to get along with them with my incredibly bad and basic mandarin. I didn’t care though. it was a refreshing experience in a way. and next week I am going again. there’ll be a lot to get done next week but it also means that the break is drawing closer. I am looking forward to the people who will be here around christmas. I miss the scottish accent I haven’t heard it properly for a few days.

in the evening I had a nice cup of coffee, hot cappuccino to keep myself warm. every season is marked by a different kind of coffee and this year, accidentally, the most frequent indulgence seems to be cappuccino. my barista was kind of surprised when I ordered yesterday but charged me half the price anyway. I wandered off to SoHo afterwards hearing french more than once, maybe because it’s the month of the french film festival. I like these small coincidences. I spent the rest of the night with incredibly varying group of people, changed at least ten different bars and met half the class. but it was nice nevertheless. it’s been a while.

joyce is not here made me happy the most.