it is almost two in the morning as I begin to type this. but I doubt I will be able to find all the words I would like to put down right now. I am aching. physically and emotionally; I am aching. I am trying to think of a film or a book or anything that I could realistically compare it to, so there would be some comparison. but nothing comes to my mind. as I type this there is a huge glass of milk next to me and the air conditioner is blasting. it’s a hot summer night. it rained again. I feel a little bit sick and I should go to sleep. tomorrow is another day. another battle. everybody is fighting a battle.
I feel as though I know everybody else’s battles and what they are fighting against. even if I can’t know exactly the way it is, or live through it that same way, I feel I can still understand it. I wish I could give this ability to other people as well. from the outside, everything appears to be perfect. my life, where I live, what I do, the people I know. it’s somebody else’s dream, probably. but the one thing that’s missing is simplicity. and a lift of the weight off my shoulders. because it’s too much.
mindful mondays; I curse to myself the day I decided to being this series.
July 23, 2013