the idea of a perfect office / dubrovnik / tulum, mexico / a seahorse in a jar
all sourced from pinterest
the above images pull me through the day. they pull me through the entire week. I am thinking of the caribbean, azure clear waters and warm pink sand in between my toes. hong kong beaches are not like that. over the weekend, the city was paid a visit by the most severe tropical typhoon of twenty-thirteen, which means the coastline is even less attractive now. we’ve barely felt it, those of us living among the concrete, but the outskirts of hong kong and the rest of south east asia have been damaged quite visibly. my wanting to escape and disappear from this part of the world increases with each passing day. pilot’s messages and geographical updates are definitely not contributing to my state of mind. and he’s not the only one causing (not unwanted) disturbance. I repeatedly return to my own writings to him; I could easily plead a case of temporary insanity, should anyone be willing to actually believe it. my days are swallowed by furious monotony and I am losing myself completely. any distraction, even just a hint of an adventure; I leap like a frog. it’s a funny picture, isn’t it? but it is costing me a lot.
I’m writing personal essays, resumes and emails, instead of poetry and short stories inspired by nocturnal outings with the filmmaker. I have officially reached the age when I need to start sucking up to people and their expectations, instead of following my own intuition. but, somehow, I am okay with that. for now. I am finding myself avoiding most people that were relevant to me, oh I swear, just five minutes ago. I am not sure what happened. I like the feeling of pushing the red decline button and silencing the phone to voicemail. I am busy now. filmmaker reminded me of some my old writings from my european trip two years ago; revisiting these emails, I cannot help but cringe. emails with subjects like and so the eastern european flow of shit continues were a regular thing. I am glad you reminded me of this. definitely good times.
and mondays will always be mondays.
September 23, 2013