monday morning

he left before I even had a chance to get used to having him around. but that’s how we are. monday, again. sadness, numbness. packed public transport. coffee on the go. rain. it’s going to rain the entire week. filmmaker is in china on a business trip for two weeks. I am trying to figure out what to do with myself. with people around me. I couldn’t sleep last night. I came home around midnight. showered and fell asleep fairly quickly before two in the morning. then I awoke at three with an unread e-mail on my phone. I replied. fell back asleep for about an hour. then there was another message. and then a phone call. it was five thirty in the morning and I watched the light change behind my drapes. I nodded off but never fully fell asleep again. I left the house for work an half an hour earlier than usually.

how could I ever convey everything I have been wanting to say?

July 11, 2011