this morning I awoke earlier than usual for no particular reason. but every morning my reaction is the same. I jump out of the bed and go to the terrace. just to look. and stare. and breathe. in and out. sometimes the fresh air hits my lungs so suddenly I feel like I might choke. this morning it was too early. barely quarter past six. stillness. eternal stillness that I cannot describe properly. as if everything was asleep. not even the seawater breathing. almost dead. instead of a clear blue sky I was welcomed by dark grey and cold. the bay was preparing for a storm but only a few knew. the little town deeply asleep. I took down the tablecloth and pillows off the chairs mindlessly; collected my towels and kicked everything into a corner. before I fell back asleep in my bed I wondered what had made me wake up in the first place.
cuddled up in thin bedsheets and rows of pillows while everything around shakes. sleeping deeply but at the same time being fully conscious. raindrops pounding on the rooftop, only a few feet away from my head. shaking thunders and lightning; strong wind and the unmistakable scent of salt water being rushed in all directions. but the thunders. there is nothing like the thunders by the sea. the same calmness as before took over once the sky exhausted itself. I drank my coffee with a jumper around my shoulders; the cold air was nearing what would be the coldest winter in south east asia. I kept thinking whether I could survive a single winter in my bay.
nighttime. terrace. a bottle of milk. I am watching the red moon move across the sky. it reached the top of mountains behind the marina. I can see it descend clearly. twelve o’clock. time moves too fast. everywhere. I wish it would rain again tonight. I just looked again; the moon has completely disappeared.
September 6, 2011