the last few days

snapshots from the last couple of days. taken with instagram.

1. from a recent walk through the streets of sheung wan. 2. daily snapshot of our view from two days ago. 3. light in our apartment. 4. writing outdoors and listening to habib koite. 5. langham place starbucks; one of my favorite spots. 6. tea instead of coffee. 7. light and shadows on our living room wall during sunset. 8. sunset, two days ago.

hours escape me quietly but quickly and it is always too late when I realize that it has been another day. yet again. absorbing my surroundings, I keep to myself. inner frustration of an unknown origin keeps me from communicating my thoughts the way they deserve. most of the time I end up regretting my words, because if given a second chance I would surely formulate them in a different fashion. I stay awake until the small hours of morning, my only company the whiteness of walls. others nights I find myself lost in the heat of our city, questioning absolutely everything. my city has become our city. the weight of that change paralyzes me. I have made a reluctant return to my paper journals, my handwriting inconsistent, the pen feels stiff in my hand. but I am trying. I am learning how to let go; let go of my fears. but how?

five days have gone by since I wrote the first sentence of this post. and it’s always like that. it takes me a whole week to finish a single entry about nothing. I find it hard to believe that it’s saturday already. where has the week gone? I am too distracted, cranky and generally exhausted. I am not getting enough sleep and when I do I cannot sleep the next two days. it’s a vicious circle.

I’m hoping for a break at the end of summer. somewhere, anywhere.

June 9, 2012