the tomato of my feelings

October 19, 2008 | (Unfinished) Thoughts

sunday morning. a beautiful sunday morning but i’m not happy about it. tomorrow is monday, tomorrow means new day, new week, tomorrow means a new set of tasks and assessments. i already feel tired. this weekend was not exactly as i thought it would be. even though i was really happy to go to ikea yesterday. it reminded of some of my old dreams. i couldn’t help it.

i finished reading two kundera’s books this week; the laughable loves and of course, the unbearable lightness of being. the second book has left a huge impact on me. but i don’t think i need to explain in detail. everybody knows why. everybody understands the qualities of kundera’s work.

no one can get really drunk on a novel or a painting, but who can help getting drunk on beethoven’s ninth, bartók’s sonata for two pianos or percussion, or the beatles’ white album? he loved rock as much as mozart. he considered music a liberating force: it liberated him from loneliness, introversion, the dust of the library; it opened the door of his body and allowed his soul to step out into the world to make friends.

this the thing we have in common. you and me. music. passion. loneliness. but you just don’t want to admit it, he said. we are both reading the same novel because we are looking for the same answers but have different questions to them.

i feel just like that tomato.