last night joyce is not here showed a screening of le dernier metro. it must have been a few years since I last watched this film. watching it again while standing on the empty peel street, staring at the white paper screen I felt as if I was standing in the middle of the world. I think sundays will be spent only there, from now on. I went back to soiree for the second night in row. yesterday was special, a little better than other nights. not as crowded, more interesting people and the music was purely for us. and my cherie amour for me. some time I would like to explain what this song means to me, but right now it doesn’t really matter. I am just enjoying the present. many words were said even more crossed my mind without being voiced. but I didn’t care. I got used to it. to the silence of the night and empty streets, catching the last train home simply because there is nothing left to be said or felt. I could have stayed longer but every extra minute would make my own memory less powerful. when it comes to remembering certain things, it’s easier to forget them. so I walked away.
December 15, 2009