nothing in particular is on my mind today. yesterday, having had chosen john powell as my study music, I ended up watching the first two bourne films. I think I will finish off tonight with the third one. I am catching up on my work, finally. but other than this, I am not sure how to describe these days. they pass by in a strange melancholy, stereotype. emptiness. I had the need to slow down a bit but now that I have I realize it just brings me down, even farther away from what I need. I spent the day in and out of the bed, I am still sitting here in my red pajama’s, drinking vitamin C potions, trying to make myself feel better. I write a lot, I read, collect inspirational photographs and imagine what it would be like if I lived someone on an island, hundreds of miles off the shores. but I can’t do it. even during the days when I hardly go out, I still like to open the window and let the noises and smells of the city enter my room. just like today.
I wonder what it is that I am trying to say but can’t find the words for.
January 5, 2010