you’re back in high school. how many times have I said this? but this is the last time. it feels strange, because nothing is going to change this year. things are just going to get harder. but. all of a sudden, we’re the last ones. all of a sudden, the younger ones are supposed to look up to us. but they just annoy me. everything annoys me. the rules, the ideas, the stereotype. the need for perfectionism I don’t understand it. I don’t relate to it. whatever happened to no one gives a shit? I certainly have a lot to say when it comes to that department.
because I was six years old just a while ago. where has that little blonde girl gone? the walls seem to be calling out her name, but she’s long gone. there’s someone completely else at the door right now. and I wish I could blame someone but myself for letting her go. sentiment is working yourself off of feelings you don’t really have. I was offended the first time but now I find it to be completely true and honest.
I am not sure whether it was easier just to hate people and pretend you don’t care about them, or actually like them, be friends and know that one day they won’t be there anymore. sometimes I find myself missing the anger I had two years ago. the idea that I don’t need anyone. that being alone is perfectly sufficient and enough for me. sometimes I really miss it. it was the most exhausting period I’ve gone through so far. anger is tiring. incredibly tiring, but so is caring.
you need to sort your shit out, kid.