i’m listening to ryan donowho’s mark it. i think it is one of the most amazing songs of his production. but let me not mellow about his music any further. my mother’s departure to a country that i have never been to made me think of all the other places that i haven’t been to yet. it makes me feel as if someone is trying to stuff me in a bottle. the neck of that bottle being to narrow for my big head and dreams.
i’m thinking of all the places that i have never been to. i’m thinking of the films that i haven’t seen yet, of all the books that i haven’t read, of all the music i haven’t listened to yet, all the concerts that i have been to lazy to buy the tickets for. and most importantly, i’m thinking of all the people i haven’t met and all the people that i will never meet for various of reasons.
but then i also stop myself from this pathetic flow of thoughts. just like that. because i also think of all the people that i have met this year, all the films i’ve seen and all the music i’ve discovered. new countries that i’ve been to. maybe it doesn’t mean much, but it means a lot to me. because these things are my measurement of a certain improvement.
i’m starving to know. and i am wondering will tomorrow bring, what will next month bring and most importantly what the next year is going to bring. i’m starving to know.
November 23, 2008